I like to listen to NPR on my way to and from work. An unfortunate side effect of that is having to listen to Oregon Public Broadcasting's so-called "traffic report," which happens unpredictably once an hour or so. It basically consists of a preamble announcing that it is sponsored by Burger King, Wal-Mart or some other corporate giant not usually thought of as an ally of public radio, followed by a breezy summary that boils down to "roads that are usually busy are busy."
There's never any qualifying information, such as more specifics about HOW busy it is. Nor is there ever any reference whatsoever to any road that is not deemed by the powers that be at OPB to be a road that is "usually busy" at that time of day.
I can't count how many times I've sat in my car on the Banfield (see rant "Where's the Banfield?") doing 5 mph right next to the speed limit: 55 sign, wondering what possible reason could account for the lack of movement: Sun? Rain? Rubbernecking? Or one of the countless other reasons Portland drivers (see rant entitled "Portland Drivers") have for slowing on the highway? Just then, the OPB traffic report comes on, pointlessly informing me that traffic is "slow in all the usual places."
Are you F***ing kidding me?!
Does Burger King pay so little for the privilege of sponsoring a traffic report that OPB can't afford to provide an actual traffic report with the collected funds? Why is OPB taking a measly $5 from Burger King in exchange for a minute of sponsorship on a "commercial-free" station, all in order to produce a completely useless traffic report?
Here's an idea: why doesn't OPB refund Burger King its $5 and tell its listeners to tune in to a different station if they want to know what's happening with the traffic?
Or, an even better idea: what if OPB produced an actual traffic report, and let Burger King go back to doing what it does best: chopping down the rainforest in order to make shitty burgers from the meat of factory-farmed cows?
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